I’ve spent decades in marketing and consulting, building businesses, advising Fortune 500 companies, and working alongside some of the brightest people in the industry. I’ve co-founded a successful firm, written a book, led complex client engagements, and mentored countless professionals. And yet, there are days when I feel invisible.
Not literally, of course. But invisible in the ways that matter professionally—invisible when promotions are discussed, when credit is assigned, when my voice should carry weight but somehow doesn’t land the same way my male colleagues’ voices do.
This isn’t a blog post about statistics. You’ve seen the data. You know women are underrepresented in leadership, underpaid relative to men, and disproportionately overlooked for advancement. The numbers are real, and they’re damning. But numbers don’t capture what it actually feels like to navigate a career as a woman in business—the constant, exhausting work of being seen, heard, and taken seriously.
The Erasure Is Subtle, But It’s Real
My husband Steve and I co-wrote a book together. Equal partners. Equal contributors. Both our names on the cover. And yet, time and again, the book is referenced as his work. People introduce him as “the author” and me as… well, often they don’t introduce me at all. Or they’ll say, “Oh, you helped with that?” as if I was his assistant rather than his co-author.
It happens in meetings, too. I’ll propose an idea that gets a polite nod and then disappears into the ether. Ten minutes later, a male colleague will offer the same idea—sometimes using my exact words—and suddenly it’s brilliant. Suddenly it’s actionable. Suddenly everyone’s taking notes.
When I point this out, I’m told I’m being “too sensitive.” When I advocate for myself or push back on being overlooked, I’m “too aggressive” or “too emotional.” If I express frustration, I’m “angry.” If I stay quiet, I’m complicit in my own invisibility.
It’s a no-win game, and it’s exhausting.
The Double Standard Is Everywhere
The rules are different for women, and we all know it even if we don’t always say it out loud.
When a male executive is decisive, he’s a strong leader. When a woman is decisive, she’s difficult.
When a man is confident, he’s competent. When a woman is confident, she’s arrogant.
When a man speaks up in a meeting, he’s contributing. When a woman speaks up, she’s interrupting.
When a man advocates for a raise or promotion, he’s ambitious. When a woman does, she’s entitled.
I’ve watched women—brilliant, accomplished women—apologize for taking up space, hedge their opinions with qualifiers, and downplay their achievements to avoid seeming “too much.” I’ve done it myself. Because we’ve learned that the penalty for being “too much” is being dismissed, sidelined, or labeled a problem.
And when we raise concerns about this—when we point out that we’re being overlooked, interrupted, or undervalued—we’re told we’re imagining it. That it’s not a big deal. That we’re making it about gender when really it’s about “fit” or “readiness” or some other conveniently vague explanation.
Our concerns are dismissed as not really worthy of a full discussion. And that, perhaps more than anything, is what makes this so maddening: the constant invalidation of our lived experience.
You’re Not Crazy
If you’re a woman reading this and nodding along, I want you to know: you’re not crazy.
You’re not imagining it when your ideas are ignored until a man repeats them.
You’re not being too sensitive when you notice you’re the only woman in the room and your voice is the one that gets talked over.
You’re not overreacting when you realize you’ve been passed over for a promotion in favor of a less experienced male colleague.
You’re not making it up when you feel like you have to work twice as hard to get half the recognition.
It’s real. It’s systemic. And it’s not your fault.
The gaslighting—the constant suggestion that we’re misinterpreting things, that we’re too emotional, that we’re seeing bias where there is none—is part of the problem. It keeps us doubting ourselves instead of demanding change.
So if you’ve ever felt invisible, overlooked, or undervalued in your career, please know: it’s not you. The system is broken, and it’s designed to advantage some voices over others.
We Need Each Other
One of the few bright spots in this ongoing struggle is the community of women who support one another. I’ve been fortunate to mentor younger women in business, and it’s one of the most rewarding parts of my career. I love watching them grow, succeed, and find their voices. I love helping them navigate the obstacles I’ve faced and giving them tools to advocate for themselves.
But I have to be honest: I’m also deeply sad that we’re still having these conversations.
I thought by now—after decades of “leaning in” and “breaking glass ceilings” and championing diversity—we’d be further along. I thought my generation’s fights would mean the next generation wouldn’t have to fight the same battles. But here we are, and young women are still facing the same invisibility, the same double standards, the same dismissiveness that I’ve encountered throughout my career.
We need to keep supporting one another. We need to amplify each other’s voices, advocate for each other’s promotions, and call out the inequities when we see them. We need to be each other’s allies, mentors, and champions—because the system sure as hell isn’t doing it for us.
A Call to Everyone
If you’re a woman in business, don’t let anyone convince you that what you’re experiencing isn’t real. Trust your gut. Advocate for yourself. Surround yourself with people who see your value and will fight for you. And when you’re in a position of power, lift other women up with you.
If you’re a man in business—especially if you’re in a position of leadership—pay attention. Notice who’s getting credit and who isn’t. Notice who’s getting interrupted and who’s dominating the conversation. Notice whose ideas are celebrated and whose are ignored. And then use your power to correct it. Amplify women’s voices. Give credit where it’s due. Challenge the double standards. Advocate for equitable pay and promotion. Your voice carries weight in ways ours often don’t, and we need you to use it.
And to everyone: let’s stop pretending this isn’t happening. Let’s stop dismissing women’s concerns as overreactions or misunderstandings. Let’s stop making women prove, over and over again, that the bias they’re experiencing is real.
It’s real. And it’s way past time we all did something about it.
Robin Boehler is a founder and partner at Mercer Island Group. Robin has spent her career advising major brands and agencies on strategy, operations, and organizational effectiveness—often while fighting to be seen and heard in rooms that weren’t built with her in mind. She has led consulting teams on behalf of clients as diverse as Discover Financial Services, Viator, Sevrpro, Ulta Beauty, UScellular, Seabourn, Kaiser Permanente, Stop & Shop, Qualcomm, Giant Food, Brooks Running, and numerous others. She is an industry leader, captivating speaker and strategist that is often called upon to speak on a variety of marketing services and agency topics.
Mercer Island Group helps marketers and agencies succeed. Company leadership is as much at home with marketers and their C-Suites as in an agency’s boardroom. With marketers, Mercer Island Group is a top 5 agency search consultancy covering all types of agency relationships (creative, media, web, PR, experiential) and assists marketers with marketing organization structure, workflow and critical skill development (briefing, creative evaluation & feedback, etc.). The company also supports leading and aspiring agencies with positioning, pitch and strategy training and pitch support.